Remember when I used to update the Weekly Review of Dance Music every Tuesday? LOLoutLOUD. Remember when I used to be really popular? ROFLOFL. Remember when I used to write a daily blog for Scuba every fucking day of the week on his Hotflush Recordings website? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. What was that all about, eh? Fuck me. 2016 was weird.

2016 was weird. I said that about two seconds ago. Remember? It was fucking weird. All of them famous people died every month, David Cameron got sacked. Barack Obama got sacked. Chubby Funster lost his records. Josh Baines got promoted at Thump. I started hosting a pub quiz in Leyton. I died on my arse at a festival. Nanny Kath is still alive. Uncle Brian started shitting himself in the street (turns out he's got colon cancer). My mum and my sister fucked off to live in Canada. The world went mad, I think. Well, everyone else said it did. I don't know.

I'm writing this post from the warmth of a very dear friend's living room in Northolt. I've got YouTube up on the telly and am watching/listening to Visual Radio Soulwax. Love Is In The Air is currently being mashed up into a heavy metal track...ahh, it's Reign In Blood by Slayer. Very clever.

That's got fuck all to do with anything, though, it's just a dance music reference to prove that I'm STILL bang into dance music, which is WHY I'm bringing BACK the world famous, definitely not forgotten, Weekly Review of Dance Music. Take a look around; I've got a snazzy new background, modern fonts and a box-fresh joie de vivre unmatched by any other dance music blogger in Northolt. I am the happy one.

And on that note, I'm going to take my leave for this week and BEG you to come back next Tuesday because I've got a right good blog post prepared for you all. It's about hard house, taking ecstasy E tablets, sniffing poppers, going to House of God, slagging off Josh Baines at Thump, reminiscing about all of the gorgeous birds I've rattled over the years, slagging off other websites, slagging off Chubby Funster at Mixmag, bigging up Tony De Vit, moaning about how Resident Advisor never put me in their Feed anymore, exposing dance music corruption, harrumphing about people on Facebook who pass off Viz Top Tips and the @Classic_picx idea as their own, and I will also be reviewing the latest, fresh, Barry house* cuts from The Martinez Brothers' exciting new Barry house EP, entitled Barry Time (It's Barry Time) feat. Jamie Jones and Headless Horseman. It's Barry house at it's most Barry, and I'm fucking BUZZING to play it out next week.


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"Barry house" is attributed to Wil at Ran$om Note.