This week's Weekly Review of Dance Music is called WRDM57, and it's all about what I've done on the weekend and what I'm doing this week and next (week). It's definitely not filler; it's great.


Thumbs up.
On the weekend I was lucky enough to get talking to a woman who was a friend of Evil Eddie Richards' girlfriend. I was stomping around the wood-chip dance floor at Tonkyo Nights, I mean, Tokyo Nights, on Saturday night with my coat on; pint of Asahi in one hand, pint of Asahi in the other (does life get any better?). She bowled over to me and screamed, "YOU CAN PUT THEM BEERS ON THIS LITTLE SPEAKER HERE, IF YOU WANT?" I nodded a nod that let her know that I was appreciative of her advice and plonked them both down on the little Funktion One speaker to the left of the DJ booth. I asked her who she was. "I'M A FRIEND OF EVIL EDDIE RICHARDS' GIRLFRIEND, WHO ARE YOU?!"

"Tonka", I said.

Immediately, she pulled out a VIP wristband and wrapped it around my sexy wrist in a manner that sounds dead sexual, but it wasn't. I was then dragged backstage to the Tokyo Nights VIP section behind the DJ booth to meet Evil Eddie Richards' girlfriend. Free drinks all round. Typical Tonka, I thought to myself. I can't remember what we all talked about as Evil Eddie Richards played a fucking brilliant set that went from disco to electro to house and sometimes back to disco and electro (highlight being Your Life by Konk) because I was drunk, but I do remember looking around me and thinking, "I fucking love being Tonka. It's great."

Me being the investigative journalist that I am though, I did come away with a scoop. You didn't hear this from me (you did), but Evil Eddie Richards lives in Milton Keynes. Mixmag, Thump, if you're reading this, get in touch. I'm STILL available for paid journo work. Winking smiley face.

Yes, Tokyo Nights was great. You really do feel as though you're getting drunk in the back streets of Tokyo, if Tokyo were entirely populated by young Londoners. It's that good that I'm going back on Thursday night for Richie Hawtin's Enter.Sake event. Did you know that Richie Hawtin earned the Advanced Sake Professional Certification and was made an official Sake Samurai by the Japanese Sake Brewers Association in 2014 for his efforts in promoting sake abroad? You do now, so if you're going on Thursday night, be prepared to put up with him showing off about how much he knows about sake and enthusiastically urging everyone to switch from lager whilst Hito plays her usual brand of minimal and ambivalent dance music. SEE YOU THERE.
I'm not just saying this because I'm on the guest list and am now contractually obliged to promote
Darkroom with Helena Hauff at Dance Tunnel, but I can't wait to go to the Dance Tunnel next Friday night (27 November 2015) for Darkroom with Helena Hauff. On last week's Tonka's Week on Ran$om Note, I clearly and concisely explained that tickets have all sold out, but there will be 50 tickets on the door. So, to reiterate what I said last week, this week, if you want to stand any chance of partying down next week with yours truly, then you really have to get there before 10pm. I really have to say that.

If you've never been to Dance Tunnel before, I'll describe it to you now:

Dance Tunnel is NOT an actual tunnel, but it is a small, 220 capacity nightclub in Dalston that's got a nice red light in it. Next week, you'll see me and Draper swaggering about like we own the place whilst Helena Hauff brings the house down (with support from Rupes and Nic Baird) with her usual brand of claustrophobic, drum-focused dance music. SEE YOU THERE.

Although I’ve not been asked to speak at the Take Note Educational Music Conference on Saturday 21 November, I’m still going to travel from Northolt to have a look at what’s going on. It’s at Second Home in London (course it is), and there'll be over forty dance music industry people there speaking about themselves and giving solid gold advice to hundreds of wide-eyed and impressionable ticket holders from all over east London who are GAGGING for some industry inside knowledge.

I’ll be sauntering about making gun shapes with my hands and winking at the likes of Ali Love (artist / Hot Natured / Infinity Ink / Chemical Brothers), Duncan Dick (editor, Mixmag), Nick Sabine (co-founder, Resident Advisor), Roni Size (DJ / producer / live act / label owner: Full Cycle), Becky Tong (co-founder, Juicebox / Radio Plugger), Melissa Maouris (founder, Maouris PR), Huw Owen (producer, BBC Radio 1's Essential Mix) and many, many other pals of mine.

I will also be seen wringing my flat cap in my hands and apologising to Kate Hutchinson (Deputy Editor, the Guardian Guide), tripping over my words whilst trying to explain that the mint choc chip anecdote she read last year was not JUST what I’m all about. SEE YOU THERE.
Fuck me. I've just copied and pasted an entire section from last week's Tonka's Week. LOLoutLOUD. This blog used to be fucking brilliant.

Next week will be a good one. WRDMerchandise returns with things like dance music-themed Christmas tree baubles, the first showing of the official WRDM Dance Hunks 2016 calendar, a Christmas jumper with Spencer Parker's face on it, official WRDM bootleg Star Wars merchandise (sabre swords) and much, much more.

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