This week's Weekly Review of Dance Music is a repeat of an episode in 2012. An episode in which I explored English patriotism, English DJs and whether or not English DJs are better than foreign DJs. 

Whichever way you look at it, this week's WRDM is the biggest and laziest load of bollocks I've ever fucking done. And I've interviewed a massively disinterested DJ Harvey. LOLoutLOUD.



This is an English post for English readers. If you're foreign, CONTENT REMOVED BY WRDM LAWYERS.

Yes, this week's Weekly Review of Dance Music is coming straight from (outside) Buckingham Palace and is the most patriotic post yet. It's St George's Day today and to celebrate the patron saint of being English I'm writing about the best English DJs this side of the Atlantic Ocean. Its what he would have wanted because - fact fans - St George's favourite instruments were the kick drumclosed hi-hat and snare. This English dragon wailer was producing fly beats decades before Andre Young was even born, let alone in the World Class Wreckin' Cru. So, without further ado lets celebrate St George with a tribute to every English DJ under the sun, in England.

Maya Jane Coles


Maya Jane Coles is not only English, she's also a lady (see WRDM5 for my women DJs review). She plays house as it should be played; straight, deep and for hours on end. She also MAKES dance music. She has recently released music on my new favourite record label, Hypercolour. Hypercolour release dance music by artists who are English AND foreign so, as you can imagine, they are a hotchpotch of creativity, different rhythms and languages. Check 'em out.

Maya Jane Coles wears clothes that make you go, "woof!" and a haircut that makes you say, "betcha by golly wow." See the above video of Maya Jane Coles wearing a COMB in her hair and talking to a couple of people who actually take fashion seriously.
Maya Jane Coles - 9/10

Seb Fontaine

Don't be fooled by that French sounding surname, Seb Fontaine is as English as a British Bulldog eating roast beef off of a pub car park floor with Nick Griffin on the 23rd April 1966. Seb Fontaine is the owner and proprietor of Malibu Stacy's in London. He is also their resident DJ and guest DJ each week, every week down at "Malibu's", as Stan Collymore calls it.

Seb Fontaine plays trance-house and his contribution to 'Elements 1st Testament' is fucking brilliant. For anyone interested in knowing what was going on in mainstream clubs in the late 90s get hold of 'Elements.' The tracklist reads like a who's who of something or other to do with trance and the nineties. Da Hool, Mary Kante, Signum, Lost Tribe, Energy 52 and even The Sugarhill Gang (!) feature.
Seb Fontaine - 7/10

Join me after the break for more Weekly Review of Dance Music (repeat).

                             Welcome back to part 2

Andrew Weatherall


Andrew Weatherall (above, yesterday) compiled the best Fabric mix of 2004. Andrew Weatherall done Primal Scream up good and made them sound bad, as in good. Andrew Weatherall very often DJs back-to-back and alongside Ivan Smagghe. Andrew Weatherall quite literally created a masterpiece with his latest compilation for the English institution, Ministry of Sound. Andrew Weatherall is so patriotic that he delayed the release of Masterpiece by 18 months to ensure it was released on St George's Day. What a guy! I was lucky enough to get a pre-listen to Masterpiece last week and it quite literally made me turn up the volume on my matte black, Gear 4 iPod dock to 16. It was all that AND a bag of chips!

Masterpiece is a 3 x CD set compiled with love, care and attention by Andrew Weatherall and is based on his A Love From Outer Space night at The Drop in London.

If you don't buy Masterpiece by Andrew Weatherall on Ministry of Sound Records you're an absolute fucking moron and you have a bell end hanging off of your forehead like the fucking dickhead that you are.

Andrew Weatherall - 10/10


That's your lot for today. Andrew Weatherall is officially England's best DJ with a score of 10/10. Good work, Andy!

I know St George's Day was yesterday but I didn't get around to finishing my review of the terrific Masterpiece by Andrew Weatherall on Ministry of Sound Records (available to buy and download in all good record stores and websites) until this morning. St George won't mind that I'm a day late though because he's dead.

Or is he????

I'll be back next week with my definitive guide to dance music on the internet. In the mean time, have a look at my Tweets on Twitter and become my friend on Facebook, please.