Back once again with the renegade master, two bob, alka, back for the people. Back once again for the renegade master...sing it with me, lads! Come on! This week's Weekly Review of Dance Music is all about reviews because that's what this website is all about: reviews.

I love reviewing things. A great sense of achievement and belonging flies into my funnel after I publish a music review post. I get to tag all of the artists into the Tweet that I send out to advertise it, and I always end up feeling like I'm contributing to the dance music scene because more often than not, the artist, or their PR company, will Retweet me or sometimes even reply to say "thanks." I love Twitter for that, it's dead easy to trick yourself into thinking you're actually mates with DJs and producers from all around the world. I sometimes publish a post, sit back and see a few Retweets and some positive feedback and I genuinely feel like I'm playing a part in something big and important for a few minutes. LOLoutLOUD.

It is a good laugh though, doing what I do.

Look at these fucking reviews now:
The Warrior Tones EP is an EP from Sound Warrior Records that, in my opinion, showcases the best in foreign dance music by some of the best looking foreign lady DJs and producers ever to have walked the planet.

Milkus by Daniela La Luz sounds like Foreign Muck at The Key in 2005, in a good way. Here's a Boris Horel reference for all those who were there:

I can imagine Boris Horel playing Milkus at Foreign Muck at The Key in 2005.

The Only by Whim-EE is the exact opposite of Perc's recent edit of Moby's song, Thousand. A bloke keeps whispering the word, "love" and it's a really nice and subtle dance music track that keeps things nice and subtle by rattling along nicely with loads of subtle touches here and there to keep things ticking over until the end of the song. It's fucking brilliant, to be honest.
Night Walker by Jenifer Mayanja is not, as you'd expect, a cheeky, nu-rave SMD edit of Walk The Night by Skatt Bros. but it's just as good. There's loads of tribal percussion on it, which I adore, and an irregular (compared to a lot of old hard house records I used to listen to) bass line that anchors the music beautifully. The best thing about Night Walker, however, is the vocal line: it sounds like a handicapped person trying to laugh and, I'm ashamed to say, I found myself laughing out loud on the tube as I listened to it.

I just pray to God that I never get handicapped because I'll never be able to listen to this song again!

Limbic Resonance by Dakini 9 (what a weird name, and I bet there's not 9 of them!) is very hard to describe. Background noises, like the sound of a ZX Spectrum loading up, shadow another irregular bass line whilst quite a few different pad sounds come in and out over the top of what sounds like an 808 kick drum with the attack nudged half way around so it's not stepping on the toes of the other instruments, is the best way to describe Limbic Resonance by Dakini 9.

Warrior Tones EP
Released by Sound Warrior on 6 April 2015


Apartment Records have got another one of their famous 12" dance music releases coming out soon on Apartment Records. This one is called Aquarius by Steve Legget featuring Greg Blackman. There are three remixes of Aquarius on this 12" package and here's a review of each one of them:

Aquarius (Believe Mix) - This is the A side and, musically, it sounds like half a dozen snooker balls being knocked around under the sea on a Kingston boardroom full-size table by Mer-Man and a merman, in a good way. I couldn't make out what the bloke was singing (something about being sad and bad) so I tried to search for it on Rap Genius but it's not up there yet.
Aquarius (Mark Hand's Rework) - ...is just that; a rework. And what a rework! I can well imagine Masters at Work playing this down Pacha at about 2am. The Ibiza sun still, somehow, blazing as the sun-glazed babes in massive sunglasses sashay from side to

what the fucking hell am I talking about?

There's a wicked one note pad line that washes all over this rework from start to finish that makes you think you've got a build up of wax in your ears and you're waiting for them to pop - but they never do.

Aquarius (NCW's Lost in the DMZ) - This version has got a woman doing the singing! Don't worry, lads, the singing then goes back to the bloke later on. A monotone acid bass line irons itself right through the middle of a functional 909 snare pattern and various elements of the original song, and it's my favourite track of the set.

Aquarius by Steve Legget featuring Greg Blackman
Released by Apartment Records on 23 March 2015 (I think)

Pre-order it NOW: juno.co.uk/steve-legget-aquarius

It's not often you get a LTO CD for free, is it?

Is it?

Yes. It is for me because I'm Tonka and people are always sending me free music. Most of the music I get sent is absolutely fucking shit, so I don't bother shining a light on it, but this LTO CD is probably absolutely fucking brilliant so I'll paraphrase the press release that accompanied the CD because I haven't got round to listening to it myself yet.

Bristolian, LTO, first garnered attention and some praise in 2011 as part of the Old Apparatus collective with their abstract experimental bass dance music, submerged in swirls and fragments of otherworldly static and interference. LTO is also part of (definitely not racist) Khing Kang King with cult rapper Mowgli.
Now working on solo music as well as with the collaborators I talked about up there ^^^, LTO’s second release under his own name (not his own name, LTO is not his own name) is the rich, characteristically mysterious No Pasa Nada EP; a heavy cloud of grey and baggy sound design, ghostly wooden janglings and deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep sonics. It is at once challenging and, if you listen to it for a second time: mesmerising. No Pasa Nada is crafted in part from found sound and field recordings, treated and disguised beyond their origins. To be honest, it's like listening to a UK grime or dubstep album because of all the delays, claps and 808 sounds on it.

LTO has called this EP No Pasa Nada because he's just got back from an inspirational backpacking holiday in South America, and was forever saying, "no pasa nada!" to the cheeky waiters who kept trying to sneak Mexican peas onto his plate of curry and chips with English gravy.

No Pasa Nada EP by LTO
Released by Injazero records on 30 March 2015

Pre-order it NOW: injazerorecords/no-pasa-nada
Plans for the week: I'm going to Birthdays in Stoke Newington on Thursday night for a chin-stroking night of stroking my chin with the chin-stroking, speccy, side-parted boffins who stroke their chins all day on The Quietus. They're hosting a Perc (live) gig so I'll be heading down there to show my support for my very dear friend, Perc, by stomping about, whistling and punching the air more vigorously than anyone else on the dance floor.

Also on the bill are Dan Chandler, Bronze Teeth and a DJ set by the Hamburger Ladies. I wonder if they even like hamburgers! LOLoutLOUD. I'll find out on Thursday night...

It's only a tenner to get in, although I'm trying my hardest to get a Tonka + 1 to impress my mate, Plus One. I'll be tagging Perc, Bronze Teeth, Birthdays and The Quietus in on the Tweet I send out to publicise this post so hopefully, one of them will sort me out.

Ch-check it out on here: birthdaysdalston/the-quietus-perc

I'll be back at some point in the future with loads more stuff like this.

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