Weekly Review of...

Remember the good old days? Spliffy jeans. Naff Co 54 bomber jackets. Adihash t-shirts. Ellesse trainers. Cobblestone Jazz transplanting the name of their group onto the actual music they made. Mixmag magazines. Brandon Block and Alex P oi-oi'ing everybody. People going clubbing in hilarious fancy dress (Sundissential). Brandon Block and Alex P in Ibiza. People going clubbing looking like the biggest fucking blow jobs you've ever seen in your life (Gatecrasher). Proper dance music videos. Brandon Block and Alex P doing six page spreads in Mixmag from their shared mansion and showing off about how many Ferrari's they'd crashed that year. MTV Dance Floor Chart with June Sarpong at Bakers in Birmingham. Proper mix CDs with imaginative inlay cards. Mitsubishi tablets. BRANDON BLOCK AND ALEX P. Remember back when clubbing was fun? Do ya?

Trick question. It has and ALWAYS will been fun.

My name is Tonka and I'm here to bridge the gap between old school club culture and the new fangled digital stuff you get nowadays in 2013 like you know what I mean? Read a few sentences on and you'll bump into a review I'm about to write of an album that is out next week on Crosstown Rebels. The Crosstown Rebels logo is not as cool as the old Tidy Trax one, but that's not to take anything away from their output. An example of which is Mathew Jonson's follow-up to 2010's Agents of Time, Her Blurry Pictures.

Mathew Jonson might be missing a ´t´ from his first name and a ´h´ from his second, but there is NOTHING missing in this eight track banger. I was telling Draper and Robbo about it in Scooter CafĂ© last week. I said that the album as a whole takes you on a journey AND tells you a story that you will only ever understand if you know dance music like we do - and I count you, the reader, as one of the we. Buy Her Blurry Pictures next week and try getting your parents and grandparents to sit through 5 minutes of it. HBP, as I call it, is a musical metaphor for a night out clubbing in, say, Club Fabric, Berghain or Liquidroom, and only those of us who have been clubbing properly (winking smiley face) will get it (this album). Clubbing goes in three stages:
  1. Warm-up - light and easy tracks to get you in the mood for the party
  2. Heads-down - the meat and potatoes of your night out. Full on dance-floor stomping, rabbiting in your mate's ear hole and getting absolutely fucking terminated
  3. After-party - where things get weird and taper out until you're trying to sleep/feel wholesome/avoid phone calls

The first three tracks are a bespoke warm-up for the main-room three of tracks four, five and six. Track six in particular, Body In Motion, is fucking brilliant. It's as loopy as a circle. I was listening to it on the central Line this morning and I started coming up! Sober as a judge but there I was, knees shaking and gurning my face off at the pregnant bird stood up in front of me. YOLO.

Mathew Jonson can, and hopefully will, lay claim to birthing the steel drum tech-trance genre with Lightweight Champion. Her Blurry Pictures ends with track eight, Her Blurry Pictures. This is the track that mimics the beginning of the end of the after-party - all floaty pads and stuff that doesn't make that much sense if you've never been off your trolley on a laminate floor with a bunch of people you hardly know and you're starting to hate.

Should you buy Mathew Jonson's new album when it comes out in the shops? Yes. Why? Because I said so.

Mathew Jonson - Her Blurry Pictures

You can pre-order Her Blurry Pictures from Sainsbury's here: SUPERMARKETECHNO

Coming soon is the podcast WRDMFM with mo man, Draper. Also soon to come is some Marv N J stuff, a discarded Dabbler article and MORE from your world famous, supa-soar-away Weekly Review of Dance Music.

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