WRDM8

This week's WRDM is all about new music, new artists, new tunes and new producers. I'll be lifting the lid on the BEST up and coming DJs in the world and then REVIEWING their skills on the decks. I will then be marking them out of ten so that you can decide whether or not to go and see them.

However, before I begin I have to say "thank you" to the fellas at Mud Love dot co dot uk (.co.uk) for asking me to write a blog post on their blog. My first away game. Check it out on this number: Mud Love and keep on reading their website as much as you can because, in my opinion, after Resident AdvisorMinimal MessagesWeekly Review of Dance MusicFACTIbiza VoiceFantaziaSoul Clap blogwelove-musiclafonoteca.netRecord LabelBodytonicMixmagXLR8RMegatownPlanet TurboPhonicaW+L and Get The Curse, Mud Love is THE best dance music website on the World Wide Web (www.).

CH-Check it out.

Also, whilst out buying fruit the other day I overheard a conversation containing some gloomy news regarding the fatal death of a man who invented the iPod Touch and the iPod Nano. If any of you who read this did not already know, Steve Jobs has sadly passed away of cancer in his Beverly Hills mansion. I heard the same bloke also tell his grandson an extremely tasteless and graphic joke immediately afterwards which I will not repeat here. I'm ashamed to say I laughed out loud (lol) though and, unfortunately, will never be able to see a picture of Steve Jobs ever again without wondering where he eventually “plugged it in”.

Review time. NOW.

DJ Creepy Disco



Erol Alkan is a personal friend of mine. At least he'd act like it when I used to frequent Bugged Out! at The End. Unless Smagghey or The Glimmer Twins were on in the Main Room, I would go and watch Erol (as I liked to call him) in the Lounge. In those days he wore his hair long and was more often than not playing warm up to 'Klaxons DJs'. One balmy night in 2004 I took a vinyl copy of Grace Jones 'Island Life' with me to Bugged Out! so that I could keep cool and look cool at the same time. Erol took one look at the cover as I nonchalantly waved it above my head and IMMEDIATELY played 'Pull Up To The Bumper'. That is why you will NEVER hear a bad word said about him by me. He is Mr Showbiz as far as I'm concerned and, having been blogging for over 3 months, I should know a little about the industry by now. Eh, lads?

Erol Alkan has a website called this: erolalkanswebsite.com and on this website I discovered an unsigned DJ called DJ Disco Creep. I don't know his real name and the only photo he's published anywhere on the net is shit. You can only see the top half of his head and he's wearing fucking sunglasses. Kanye West ones.

I downloaded his free Soundcloud 'Summer September Mix' and listened to it on the tube once, all the way through. Unfortunately, I listened to this mix in October so that put a mental downward spin on it for me. When people put a date in the title of something it psychologically puts you off if you're not consuming it on that date. Try reading yesterday's newspaper today, its just too fucking weird.

Anyway, I listened to it from start to finish and enjoyed it. The tracks were of a summer house vibe throughout and most of them had a French filter effect, which I always find pleasing to the ear hole. However, if I want to listen to summer vibes I'll put on 'Summertime: The Mixtape' by Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince or ANY Soul Clap podcast from the last 2 years. Creepy Disco sounds alright but I don’t think he actually plays in any nightclubs (correct me if I’m wrong, DJDC) – reclusive or what?

Listen to that and the rest of DJ Disco CreepHERE 7/10

DJ Mary Jane


The great thing about being a dance music producer now, in October 2011, is that a) you can be a lady producer and b) you can make a track in somewhere like America and within one month you can, by some sexy twist of fate, be reviewed by Tonka in England, Great Britain. There are loads of forums on Resident Advisor and most of them in the Tech area consist of sad teenagers arguing about headphones and fat, old, jealous, virgin cunts who snide away at people like me who couldn't give a shit about limiters, automated LFOs and side-chain compression. It's all about the groove with me, mate. As long as Ricky V plays a track that bangs, I couldn't give a fuck if its not made properly. These sad, lonely fuckers make me sick AND make me digress.

Sometimes a forum name catches your eye though. I've been aching to unearth some new dance talent on my blog for a while so when I saw 'Composers/Producers post here' I began to rub my hands together. "I'm going to make one of these guys a star", I thought to myself. I opened up the page and after seeing lots of people called British Lizard, Norman and Loopsky I saw a lady DJ called DJ Mary Jane. "Finally, some pussy" I thought to myself. I didn't even bother listening to anyone else so if you want to check them out go to that page and sift through the shit yourself (there will be a lot of shit).

DJ Mary Jane, I'm guessing, is a play on what, I'm guessing, is her favourite band: The Jesus and Mary Chain. It's a clever touch but this young American no longer gazes at shoes. She has dropped the moods and is now embracing Minus style shuffle-tech and minimal happy rage-core. I'm listening to her track 'Sucker Punch' as I type. It is 8 minutes and 6 seconds of pure dance music. I'm not sure how many bpms there are each minute on this one but I'd go as far as to say it's a mid-range plodder. Imagine yourself at Club Fabric on a Sunday morning. Its 5.30am and you're coming down whilst ALSO coming up. You close your eyes. Your legs are heavy, you're barely marching anymore and as you slowly rub the back of your head to try and stimulate the MDMA in your brain you hear 'Sucker Punch' bleed through the famous underfloor Fabric speakers. You open your eyes and see your best mate's face 2 inches away from your's. He looks wild eyed and angry but he doesn't dig you, he slowly puts his arms around you and your head drops into his shoulder as he screams into your ear, "DJ MARY JANE! THIS IS DJ MARY JANE! SUCKER PUNCH! READ ABOUT IT ON TONKA'S WEEKLY REVIEW OF DANCE MUSIC BLOG LAST WEEK! COME ON! THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT! FUCKING COME ON!!" With that, you do whatever is left in your little bag and start to fucking dance. Stomp, stomp, stomp. This IS what it's all about.

Listen to DJ Mary Jane - 'Sucker Punch' HERE 9/10

Orlando Boom at Queen of Hoxton


I love going out in London and supporting new club nights. Orlando Boom is a new club night that I discovered by closing my eyes and clicking around the Resident Advisor London events page. That's how I discovered The End nightclub in 2004. On the 1st October 2011 I went to Queen of Hoxton on my own because all my mates had gone to 20 Years of Soma - I wish I'd gone with (them).

I'm not slating Orlando Bloom at Queen of Hoxton but when I look at the line up at Fabric that night I do wonder what the fuck was going through my head. Slam, Dinky, Funk D'Void, Terry Francis and Kiki all under one roof for the first time in 20 years. I don't want to knock Orlando Boom at Queen of Hoxton but when you pass up an opportunity to see Slam and Dinky go back-to-back in Room 1 you have to question your sanity. I was fucking stupid to be honest.

My mates said that 20 Years of Soma was probably the best night they'd had at Fabric since we all went to see Ricky V in July (see WRDM3). They said that Slam, quite literally, SMASHED the place inside out and even Terry Francis stepped up and played a set filled with minimal heartbreak bangers. Apparently, Dinky looked as gorgeous as ever and Kiki played live on stage. I was kicking myself all week - still am.

Orlando Boom at Queen of Hoxton: 6/10

That's the future of dance sewn up for a while. Please do check out DJ Disco Creep and DJ Mary Jane and then get out and support new nights like Orlando Boom and Fabric. These youngsters are just starting out in the (dance) world and they NEED you.

Forthcoming: Bust out your Wellingtons, buy a straw hat and some cider because it's that time of the year again! I'll be back NEXT Tuesday where I'll be talking about DJs and producers you DO know with my Festivals Special.

U P D A T E S

  • For those of you on Twitter who are interested in reading daily, mini-wrdms from me ring this number: @tonkawrdm 

  • I'm still working on 'Ecstasy World (Where I Wanna Be)'. That'll be up on a future blog.

  • I'm toying with the idea of FILMING some footage. Contact me on tonkawrdm@gmail.com if you are in London and are any good at FILMING and editing. I'm talking classy, black and white footage of me telling fuckers about beats.